Have you at any time in your life loved someone in secret?

I have more than once, the first time I felt this amazing feeling I was in 5th grade and I had a crush on this beautiful blonde girl, with clear green eyes who ended up embarrassing me in front of the whole classroom. One of those moments one can never forget. I still remember her full name even her complete middle name. Once in a while I remember that embarrassing moment and I say a prayer that wherever she is and whomever she is with I pray God to keep her safe and happy for this girl from my childhood caused in me the very first experience of love.

It is quite an amazing feeling this kind of love and even though we don’t share it with anyone, we are still able to enjoy it full flavor like the very first ice cream bar we ever tasted.

Loving in secret teaches us a very good lesson. For once we learn to keep a secret even if it is our own; this will become very important as we move to different phases of our lives. There will be secrets from friends, family, and loved ones. They will trust us with their secrets. It also teaches us to keep silent, to not say too much at the wrong time or place or in the presence of the wrong company. The most important lesson from keeping a secret is that it teaches us to think before we speak and this will be most valuable in our daily lives.

Keeping a secret love secret is quite a daunting task. Feelings and emotions must be contained and put aside in the very moment they want to surface, collide, and explode.

There she is, approaching, getting closer, if she only knew, what do I do? What do I say? Hi, how are you. Have a great day! Wow that was not so bad. The heart is racing like a NASCAR car yet we feel the calm of this amazing and extraordinary feeling that can only be described by that even more amazing four letter word: Love.

Finally one day the inevitable delayed and postponed moment comes as a golden opportunity. The decision has been made to tell her, to let her in into the secret. This is gigantic, such an amalgam of emotions rushing through every atom of the body and each thought crossing the mind.

This is crazy, but she has to know, I want to tell her, don’t want her to freak out, don’t want to lose her friendship, but if there is a remote chance that she understands me, even if she can’t love me back, it will feel great to share the secret and then it won’t be awkward, in her presence she will know exactly how I feel, how I crave her.

Ok I am doing this, I am ready, I want her to know what she makes me feel, that I am crazy about her, she is my oxygen, my daily sun, my nightly moon. Whatever the outcome I want her to still be my friend, which is extremely important. The rest I can handle and keep loving her in secret, but there will still be the satisfaction that now she knows.

The confession:

I wish we could be lovers, inspiring each other, a secret and a blessing at once. Telling each other anything and everything without holding back, without judgment, true friends, true lovers, far or near, there or here, together or away, in love we stay, counseling and advising one another, sharing this adventure together, cuddle with me comforting each other, I want us to be best true lovers.

To be continued in:
The secret of a secret love (Part 2 of 3 Celebrating the acceptance)
The secret of a secret love (Part 3 of 3 Handling the Rejection)

Yours truly,
Franklin Peña
2015-06-12 @ 13:28 Hrs