Have you ever been deceived on a date? I think most of us have. I once went on a blind date to meet this hot looking Latin woman and after walking into the place I gave her a call to see if she had arrived, “Hi, are you here already?” “Yes, actually I see you across the room” “Weird I don’t see you” “Look I am raising my hand and waving at you”… So at this point I noticed the waving hand, which totally fails to match the pictures she had sent which were obviously 10 years younger and 180 pounds lighter (deception, and disappointment)…

The weird thing is that I was feeling guilty for wanting to run out and disappear on the account of making her feel bad or hurting her feelings, but wait! What about my feelings? I was the one being lied, and deceived quite intentionally right? Well there is a catch here, I now have seen this situation a few times and here is my honest take on it…

…She posted pictures of herself when she was at her best, this is the way she want to see herself, but isn’t. She thinks once first contact is made a few charming tricks should do it. Well not exactly, she is forgetting the fact that we first like someone purely on the visual aspect because that is all we know at that point, and believe me if the physical chemistry is not there, it is not going to work.

What I described above happens to women too. Deception is not isolated to a particular gender.

It is not wrong to be older or that you put on some more weight. That is all fine, what’s wrong is to pretend and portray yourself different than what you actually are. Whomever is going to fall for you will do so by being attracted by your looks as well as your personality. So do not be afraid to show yourself as you are. In fact once you do, you realize that those who approach you are doing so sincerely. If you hide from yourself what do you expect others to do? Remember nothing good comes out of deception and lies.

Final notes for those that do online dating:

• People want to see pictures of you, not your dog, not your boat, not your car, not your house, and not other people but YOU!
• You are more that just your head and your face, so post full body pictures too.
• You have to be confident with the way you look, otherwise you are not ready for any kind of relationship.
• Is hard to tell you apart when you are always with another friend of the same gender or in a crowd (refer to the first bullet point).
• Don’t talk about you in terms of what people want to hear, talk about you the way you like to live your life and the way you really are.
• Be straight forward with your intentions and do not settle for less than your goal.
• If you tell someone “I love you” after only having spent hours with that someone you have emotional issues that need to be resolved before you put yourself in the dating world.
• Love at first sight does exist, but it is usually rare and it does not happen with every other man or woman you meet.

Now please take the time to tell me your point of view, or maybe you have a story you would like to share…

Yours truly,
Franklin Peña
2015-02-14 @ 15:19